Aging | Grandma's Ramblings
Reading a friend’s blog today got my mind thinking about how fast this year has gone by. How fast my life is going by.
As I thought about the years already past (76) and wondered how many years lie ahead of me, I thought of the story in the Bible of Enoch.
In the genealogy of Adam, we are told:
Enoch lived 365 years, walking in close fellowship with God. Then one day he disappeared, because God took him.
He lived to be 365 years old, but Enoch had such a close and intimate relationship with God that one day he just vanished—God took him.
The writer of the book of Hebrews explains what it meant that “God took him.”
It was by faith that Enoch was taken up to heaven without dying—“he disappeared, because God took him.” For before he was taken up, he was known as a person who pleased God.
In my head I have this story.
Every day God and Enoch would take a walk. First, as a child Enoch no doubt had a lot of questions for God.
As their friendship grew, their walks got longer and longer. The childish questions became more difficult as Enoch became older, but God had no problem answering them. He was patient and loving. Every day Enoch would rise from his bed excited about another walk with God. He wondered what he would learn today.
Finally, after many years of shared moments with God they came to the end of their walk. God said, “Enoch, we are closer to my house than yours. Why don’t you just come on to my house with me?”
And Enoch happily said “YES!”
Today I said goodbye to a dear friend. Strange that I would call her a dear friend as I only knew her a few months.
Carolyn became a friend when my pastor asked me if I would go with her to visit an elderly woman. Carolyn was in the final stages of a lung disease which was slowly taking her life. She had been battling the disease for a few years but now it had become advanced to the point that she was on oxygen 24/7. She was confined to her house and even to her recliner as the smallest task was too great for her.
After meeting Carolyn my pastor, Carolyn and I agreed that I would visit her on Fridays and take communion to her. Friday mornings found me at Carolyn’s house where I would have a cup of coffee with her, share a small devotion from God’s Word and we would take communion together.
My visits quickly became a highlight of my week. Carolyn was so alert, so intelligent and so interested in the world around her. We would share stories of our life. However, I think I shared more of my life as she would ask question after question. She was particularly interested in all the places I had lived. Since she had lived all her life in mid-Michigan, she seemed fascinated by my experiences in never staying in one place too long.
She loved QVC and more than once I carried in boxes from her front porch that Federal Express had left with her purchases from the network. A retired schoolteacher she had stories that made us laugh as she related of the antics of the students she taught.
After a visit with Carolyn, I always left feeling humbled. Here was a woman restricted to a chair or bed 24/7. She could not go to church, go to the store. She could not even walk out in her yard and see all the beautiful flowers planted there. She had to rely on others to fix her breakfast and help her get dressed. Yet she always had a sweet smile on her face and I never heard her once complain.
It was clear her family was of great importance to her and she often shared stories of her grandchildren. I never left without hearing her speak of how wonderful her son, her daughter and her son-in-law were; how much she appreciated the care they gave her.
At the last visit I had with Carolyn I realized she would not be with us much longer. She looked so tired. Hospice was now coming every week. Still, with little energy and no doubt the understanding that her life was slowly ending, she had a smile on her face. Her son was there and she wanted me to tell him about all the places I had lived. Still focused on others rather than herself.
Last Friday I was getting ready to visit her when her daughter texted me not to come. Her Mom had been in bed the last four days, and it was clear she was not going to live much longer. On Saturday I got the call that she was gone.
Today at the funeral as I could not hold back the tears, I again asked myself how I could grieve so much over someone I barely knew.
But that was the kind of person Carolyn was. She made me feel important, interesting and a person of worth. She made our visits interesting as she was curious about everything.
Tomorrow, I will miss getting in my car and driving to Carolyn’s house. I will miss our sharing of our lives. But I have hope.
Someday I will see Carolyn again. And we can continue the friendship we started here.
The Sailing Ship by Bishop Charles Henry Brent
Reposting this from a fellow blogger. A question I find myself thinking about more and more.
After a trip to the emergency room followed by a stay in the hospital last month, I was given a heart monitor to wear for two weeks. The results of that monitor required a visit to a cardiologist. Now I am scheduled for a heart catheterization.
But in the process of my visit to the cardiologist, I had an epiphany. A moment when it hit me – I am old.
My doctor began asking me questions about my family’s medical history. I shared that my father had open heart surgery and my mother had some heart issues. It clearly did not indicate I had any genetic tendency to heart disease I assured him – they simply were just “old.” At that point, he asked their age when they had heart problems.
After telling him their age when they began having heart issues, he smiled and asked, “how old are you?”
His smile said it all. I am old.
It probably sounds silly – but until that moment I never considered myself “old.”
But I am. So – I have decided to have a good laugh at myself. Hope you will have a good laugh too.
To console myself with this new knowledge I found many people before me had share words of wisdom about growing old.
- “Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.” Oliver Wendell Holmes
- “Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” Kitty O’Neill Collins
- “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” Bob Hope
- “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” Eleanor Roosevelt
My granddaughter can testify to the truth of this cartoon. Before we go anywhere together, she knows I will need a trip to the restroom first. When I tell her I am going to the bathroom before we leave, she sarcastically says, “Obviously.”
Hopefully the results of the catherization will be good and soon I will be feeling much better. In the meantime, my husband and I will go on enjoying being “old” together.
After my son told me I was not old, I was seasoned, I keep asking myself “What seasoning am I?” Thinking on that led me down a lot of different paths. I thought of funny descriptions of our different personalities.
But then it led me to think of the concept of followers of Jesus bearing fruit – something to provide nourishment.
The Bible talks about bearing fruit. There are many verses that indicate our lives should be productive in qualities that are helpful to others.
How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does, he prospers. Psalms 1:1-3
I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23
What is the purpose of fruit? For us to take and eat, be nourished with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, fibers and phytochemicals.
So as a follower of Jesus, what kind of nourishment am I providing to those about me? What kind of seasoning am I contributing to my family, friends, church, community?
Spicy: While there is a negative definition to this word, let us look at the positive definition – zestful, interesting, lively. We add cayenne pepper or garlic to give our food a zestful, lively flavor.
The Cleveland Clinic says that chile peppers and other spicy seasonings carry health benefits. Capsaicin, the ingredient that gives chile peppers their kick has been found to boost the body’s ability to break down fat and burn more energy. That may help with weight loss and reduce risk of diseass such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol and Type 2 diabetes. A study from the University of Vermont found that people who regularly ate chile peppers had a 13% lower likelihood of death.
A person described as spicy is one who probably is more willing to take risks, more open to new adventures. Perhaps more outspoken and quicker to speak their mind.
The disciple Peter comes to my mind when I think of spicy. He always seemed to be putting his foot in his mouth, speaking before thinking carefully. But I love how his lively personality led him to get out of the boat and walk on the water toward Jesus. Sometimes the fact that he got afraid and started to sink is pointed out. But I love that of all the disciples, this lively, spicy man was the only one that got out of the boat and for a short few steps actually walked on water.
Am I sweet?
Sweet: pleasant, kind, thoughtful.
Two sweet spices that provide good health benefits are cinnamon and basil.
Cinnamon contains an ingredient, cinnamaldehyde, that has antibacterial and anti-fungal properties that ward off diseases, prevent infections and boost metabolism. Basil has many vitamins, nutrients and minerals that, among other benefits, alleviates stress and balances mood.
When I think of an example of a kind, thoughtful person in the Bible, Ruth comes to my mind. This Moabite woman left her family and her home to accompany her mother-in-law, Naomi, back to her homeland in Israel after they both had lost their husbands. Think of the help she was to Naomi in relieving the stress she faced in returning home without a husband or any sons to support her.
I have always loved Ruth’s beautiful statement of commitment to Naomi. In fact, I made it part of my wedding vows to my husband.
“Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”
Sour: resentful, embittered.
Like spicy, sour seems to carry a negative meaning. But sour seasoning can improve taste by balancing out sweetness or spiciness in a dish. Think of a lemon slice in a glass of water. Or a dash of lemon juice in a marinate for meat.
While many citric fruits have a sour taste, they also contain high levels of vitamin C, fiber, potassium, and antioxidants. These play a crucial role in strengthening your immune system to fight against diseases. Sour and fermented foods also help regulate beneficial bacteria and improve digestion. Sour candy or treats can also increase energy levels because their taste releases chemicals such as serotonin and dopamine to prove your mood.
The Bible character that comes to my mind when thinking of someone who has become embittered is the prophet Jeremiah. Jeremiah began his ministry in 627/626 BC. He was a contemporary of Isaiah, Ezekiel and Daniel. He warned the Judea nation of the coming destruction by the Babylonians. His prophecies were not well received by the king or the nation.
At one point Jeremiah became embittered at the call God had given him. After being beaten and put in stocks at one of the main gates in Jerusalem, he complained to God.
“You deceived me, Lord, and I was deceived; you overpowered me and prevailed. I am ridiculed all day long; everyone mocks me. Whenever I speak, I cry out. So the word of the Lord has brought me insult and reproach all day long. But if I say, “I will not mention his word or speak anymore in his name,” his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.”
So – am I spicy? Am I willing to listen to the voice of God and obey when He asks me to do something that I am not comfortable with doing? Am I willing to take a chance and speak to that stranger, reach out to my unfriendly neighbor, go the extra mile with someone who has hurt me? Do I add life and joy to others with my zest for life because of the love of God?
Am I sweet? Do I show kindness to those I come in contact with? Even the cashier who is slow and grouchy? Even the person who cuts me off on the road? Am I thoughtful when I speak with others, more concerned about their needs than mine? Do I add a sense of peace and comfort to others with the love God has given me?
Am I sour? Do I complain too much when things do not go my way? Do I add a sense of worry or despair because I get my focus off of God’s provision and more on the problems I face?
Less I appear too negative on the sour seasoning, let me add this. We all do have times of overwhelming situations. God understands when we complain. I think the secret is to be honest with God as Jeremiah was. God can handle our complaints. But after expressing his complaints, Jeremiah continued to obey the Lord and continued his ministry.
So – am I sour? Do I refuse to give up in difficult times, but keeping trusting in God to deliver me? Do I improve the atmosphere around me by injecting some energy and perhaps provide a balance to the spicy and sweet people around me who can sometimes need to be reminded that life is not always good. And, yes, we can complain to God. He is big enough for our “sour” moments.
In a recent conversation with my son, I said I was an old woman now.
He responded: “You are not old, just seasoned.”
When I asked him what seasoning am I he did not reply.
So, I’m thinking:
- Am I spicy?
- Am I sweet?
- Am I sour?
- Am I hot?
- Am I bitter?
Often when my husband, a retired pastor, hears a good quote or reads an interesting passage from the Bible or another book, he will say “There’s a sermon in there” or “That will preach.”
Hearing my son’s comment, I am thinking, “There’s a good blog in there.”
I’m letting those thoughts run around in my head.
What description would you use to describe yourself? What spice are you?
Beware – I will be back with a blog on this. 🙂
I have a birthday coming this spring. As I realize I will be three quarters of a century old and I have fewer days ahead of me than behind, I have been doing a lot of reflecting on the years gone by.
Interesting – sometimes I cannot remember what I had for lunch but memories of life when I was five or six are so vivid.
If I had to say what these reflections have led me to conclude about life so far, this song says it all. Committing my life to Jesus Christ at six years of age was the best decision I have made.
Life has brought joy and sorrow, moments of great excitement and moments of despair. But through it all, I see the goodness of God.
December was not a good month for me. It started off with a terrible head cold. My poor nose suffered from constant blowing.
When the cold was over, I had three to four days that were good – and then I got Covid.
Of course, being a good wife, I shared it with my husband.
After a couple of weeks of misery, we both looked pretty bad. I had cancelled my hair appointment when I got the cold and it was now almost eight weeks since I had a hair cut. I keep my hair very short and usually get a trim every four weeks. So with no makeup and my hair sticking out everywhere, I was not a pretty sight. My husband also was looking ragged with no shave for several days.
Then we heard a joke on TV and it has kept us laughing as we slowly recover from the effects of Covid.
Husband, looking in the mirror: “My arms are like little sticks, my chest is sagging, I can’t see my feet and my face is full of wrinkles.”
Wife: “Well, look on the bright side. Your eyesight is still perfect.”
Today I got my hair cut – and I have promised myself tomorrow I will put on my makeup. My husband has shaved and is looking good again.
Still, we are old and certainly are not the wonderful specimens of youth and beauty we once were. 🙂
But we are grateful to still love one another – even with our perfect eyesight.
I wrote a few years ago about a favorite show from my childhood – Gunsmoke. You can check out that post here:
Anyone Remember Gunsmoke?
My husband and I found a TV channel that has Gunsmoke reruns every day at noon. Several days a week we watch the show while eating lunch. By now most of the shows we have already seen and know the ending before it even starts.
Obviously Gunsmoke is a show that appeals to old folks. We laugh because most of the commercials are for Medicare supplements, Depends, or in-home care. It is amazing to me how many different commercials they have for Medicare supplements and how untruthful they are.
One that plays over and over shows Joe Namath (remember this former professional football player also did a commercial years ago wearing pantyhose) talking about you getting all the Medicare benefits you deserve.
While Joe talks, very large letters appear on the screen listing these “new” benefits. Rides to medical appointments, private home aides, nurse and doctor visits by telephone. Even dental and vision coverage. All of these extra benefits Joe says, you can get with zero premiums. Joe then encourages you to call the number on the screen and assures you there is no charge for the call. He says “One simple call gives you free, professional assistance to help you get more benefits and save money.” It sounds like a public service announcement from Medicare and the screen is even designed to look like it is from Medicare.
Sound too good to be true?
There is a lot Joe does not tell you. While the ad says that the Center for Medicare and Medicaid has announced these new benefits and makes it seem as if they are part of Medicare, original Medicare parts A and B do not cover benefits like this. They are considered to be “benefits for daily maintenance”. To get these extra benefits requires you to enroll in a Medicare Advantage plan. A plan offered by insurance companies.
Joe also says that “All of these benefits may be available to you at no additional cost.” While the screen is showing all these extra benefits and Joe is waving his hands around and talking rapidly, at the bottom of the screen in very small print it says that “plan premiums, co-payments and co-insurance may apply.”
These ads encourage you to call the number on the screen. They make it seem like they are doing you a great favor as they say there will be no charge for the call. Of course not. When you call you will be speaking – not to a Medicare government official – but to an insurance agent. This agent may not even live in your state. What happens if they sign you up and you then have a question. Will you be able to reach them when you need them?
I am certainly no expert on this subject and the Medicare Advantage plans may be the best option for some. However, I feel there should be a little more honesty in these commercials so that senior citizens are not fooled into thinking that Medicare is offering more benefits at no cost to them. They need to know they are dealing with insurance companies whose whole purpose is too make a profit and not with a government program offering them something for nothing. Instead of calling some number on the screen I would recommend anyone thinking about Medicare Advantage plans to contact a local insurance agent.
The American Medical Association passed a resolution in 2019 that says:
“Whereas, Medicare Advantage plans are heavily marketed to seniors by insurance companies, with less than ideal transparency in advertising; … and
“Whereas, Presentations by insurance company officials to seniors can overemphasize the value of different options and can create confusion; therefore be it
“RESOLVED, That our American Medical Association encourage AARP, insurance companies and other vested parties to develop simplified tools and guidelines for comparing and contrasting Medicare Advantage plans.”
The AMA identified the need for tools to help individuals go beyond the TV commercials and get the information they need to make a smart decision.
The Center for Medicare and Medicaid has created a “Medicare Plan Finder” on their website Medicare.gov to help any senior trying to decide what works best for them.
Joe is not the only one doing these commercials. I have to wonder just how much money he makes with this less than truthful ad? It must be profitable because more and more celebrities are making these ads.
Watching one hour episode of Gunsmoke we counted six Medicare commercials. Much as we enjoy Gunsmoke we are beginning to think we need to find something else to watch during lunch time.
Any suggestions?
My latest prayer
When I was a little girl I had beautiful red hair and my mother fixed it in curls like Shirley Temple. Everywhere we went people would comment on my hair and I felt special.
As a teenager I always felt like I was not “pretty” but I still took comfort in the thought that my hair was “pretty.”
Then as an adult cancer came and took my hair.
After cancer treatment ended my doctor told me my hair would grow back – possibly even thicker than before. But it did not. After a year or so he ran various tests to see if there was something else wrong as his cancer patients had always seen their hair grow back. We eventually found out that one of the three chemo drugs I took caused more permanent hair loss.
I did not really mind too much as I had worn wigs during my treatment and no one knew it was not my own hair. Slowly a little bit of hair came back but it was very thin and grey. So I just continued to wear my red wig and enjoy being that “special” redhead. My husband said he loved it when we were at ministers’ conference and someone asked him who was his wife, he could just say “the redhead.”
As time went by I realized it was probably time to accept that I was no longer a young redhead and join my husband with grey hair.
So I found a beautiful grey wig and made the adjustment to losing the “special” way I felt as a redhead.
Still, grey can be beautiful, right?
After accepting my grey hair I had to get hearing aids. With aids and glasses it became hard to get my wig adjusted and the ear tabs aggravate me. The last few years my hair has come back some but is still thin. I wonder if wearing a wig all the time is preventing it from growing back. So I am going without the wig and praying it will grow back. I always loved being a redhead and it was hard to go grey. Now I struggle with having little hair.
It has been hard for me to go out in public with my thin hair, but people tell me it looks good. (Of course what are they going to say – “you look terrible.”) 🙂
I am using different essential oils with lots of vitamins and nutrients and massaging my head each night. I will give it this summer without a wig and see what happens.
In the meantime I’ll just keep playing the Cowsills song and make it my prayer.