Bible | Grandma's Ramblings | Page 2

A new year! As we look back at 2015, hopefully we all can say “It’s been a good year.” Whether the year was a good one for you or not so good, we probably all can think of events that we would have handled differently if we could do it over. Times when we wish we had remained silent – or maybe wish we had spoken up. Times when we wish we had not attended that event – or maybe wish we had gone to an event. Times when we wish we had loved more – times when we wish we had pulled back from a relationship.

Looking back we can always see areas in our lives where we could have done a better job of communicating, sharing, being brave, being restrained. But the year is past. What’s done is done. Like Paul, the apostle, we need to say:

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Now the New Year has arrived!

This is a time we often make new year resolutions. We are going to work harder (or devote less time at work and more at relaxing), we are going to lose weight, we are going to be more faithful in our Bible reading, our exercising. The list often goes on and on.

Top Ten New Year Resolutions

Here is one list of top ten New Year Resolutions

Miss more time with family and friends
Exercise – get in shape
Lose weight
Quit smoking
Relax and enjoy time more
Quit drinking
Get out of debt
Learn something new
Help others
Get organized

New Year Resolutions for the “Super Heroes”

For many of us a New Year’s Resolution might look like this

My goal for 2016 is to accomplish the goals I had for 2015 which I should have done in 2014 because I promised myself I would do them in 2013 after much planning for them in 2012.

A worthy New Year’s Resolution

While it is always good to have goals for the coming year – may I suggest a goal that would really be of the greatest benefit in 2016 – a resolution to not just read, but really study the Word of God this year.

God’s Word is an excellent instruction manual for our lives.

There has been so much violence and discord in our country in 2015. Who knows what the coming year will bring. But, whether this year sees peace or war, prosperity or difficult financial times, excellent health or too many trips to the doctor, we can find strength in God’s Word.

Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.   Joshua 1:8

How can a young person stay pure?
    By obeying your word.
I have tried hard to find you—
    don’t let me wander from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart,
    that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119

There are so many aids and helps in learning more about God’s Word. One of the greatest ways to get into God’s Word is an organized, consistent reading plan.

There are excellent plans out there. Visit biblegateway.com for a listing of many that can be sent directly to your mail each day.

Each day includes a passage from both the Old Testament and New Testament.

Check them out!

Christmas! What a magical time! We decorate our homes with trees, candles, wreaths. We put out a nativity set and hang up an angel or two. We plan gatherings with family and friends where there will be presents and lots of delicious food to eat. Everything is so neat and tidy – so beautiful. It’s truly a joyous time as we celebrate our Savior’s birth and greet one another with “Merry Christmas!”

Our Christmas cards show scenes of Mary and Joseph and Baby Jesus and they look so beautiful and so peaceful. Many of the cards show bright lights shining above the heads of Mary and Joseph and Baby Jesus. Even our Christmas carols speak of a little baby who makes no crying.

But how far from that first Christmas have we come? Was it really beautiful, calm and peaceful to Mary and Joseph and those who played a role in that first Christmas?

Mary’s Story

How must Mary have first felt when the angel appeared to her with those amazing words: “Don’t be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David. And he will reign over Israel forever; his Kingdom will never end!” Name Him Jesus – “Savior”

Because we know how the story ends, we think “What a honor to be chosen to bear the Son of God. What great news this was.”

But put yourself in Mary’s place for a moment. How frightening it would be to say, ‘Hey Mom and Dad, I’m pregnant but I’m still a virgin. This child I bear has been conceived by the Holy Spirit.”

And how would she face Joseph? He would know he was not the father. What would he say? Would he still marry her? Would he bring her before the community to be stoned?

What about the child? Would gossip follow him as he played and grew in the village?

Mary’s dream of marriage to Joseph and a wonderful life suddenly looked as if it would be shattered. Mary had to decide – “Do I trust God?”

Her decision was a matter of trust. She responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” Later Mary expressed how blessed she realized she was as she spoke to her cousin Elizabeth and said, ” “Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! For he took notice of his lowly servant girl, and from now on all generations will call me blessed. For the Mighty One is holy, and he has done great things for me.

Joseph’s Story

And what about Joseph? A simple carpenter engaged to a young woman in the village, Joseph no doubt was making plans for his soon-to-be bride and the family they would someday have. Looking forward with anticipation to their wedding, he is suddenly hit with the news that his future bride is pregnant.

What sorrow he must have felt as he believed Mary had been unfaithful to him. What agony as he struggled with the decision he faced. Should he publicly denounce her – maybe even see her stoned? Should he, could he forgive her ? Although his heart was breaking, all his hopes and dreams were crushed, he was a godly and kind man.

As he thought about what to do, an angel appeared to him and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All of this occurred to fulfill the Lord’s message through his prophet: “Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means ‘God is with us.’”

While no doubt Joseph rejoiced at this news, he had to have also been filled with thoughts of great apprehension. What a tremendous responsibility he was given – to raise the Son of God! Like Mary, he had to make a decision to totally trust God and welcome Emmanuel into his home.

And then the journey to Bethlehem. How appropriate that the One who would say “I am Bread of Life” would be born in a city whose meaning is “house of bread.” And in Micah, 5 the prophet foretold that the Messiah would come from this small and insignificant town of Bethlehem.

But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah, are only a small village among all the people of Judah. Yet a ruler of Israel, whose origins are in the distant past, will come from you on my behalf.

Luke tells us: “At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire. (This was the first census taken when Quirinius was governor of Syria.) All returned to their own ancestral towns to register for this census. And because Joseph was a descendant of King David, he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David’s ancient home. He traveled there from the village of Nazareth in Galilee. He took with him Mary, his fiancée, who was now obviously pregnant.

Imagine traveling 90 miles over unpaved, hilly trails with Mary in the late weeks of her pregnancy riding on a donkey and Joseph leading on foot. Bible scholars estimate that they would have probably only been able to make 10 miles a day because of Mary’s impending delivery. There could be threats of bandits along the trail. They had to carry their own provisions.

The hardships did not end when they arrived in Bethlehem. We think of Mary and Joseph alone in the stable but it is possible that they shared that stable with others. In an overcrowded Bethlehem they were probably not the only ones who could find no room in the inn.

And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. She gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manager, because there was no lodging available for them.

The Shepherds’ Story

And what of the shepherds? If you had been given the responsibility to announce the birth of the Messiah, who would you have chosen to tell? Would you have selected a group of people who spent most of their days in the fields with the sheep and had no influence with society? Shepherds were the blue-collar workers largely unnoticed by those in authority.

That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.” When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. See the excitement with which the shepherds received this news and hurried to find the child.

The Wise Men’s Story

And what of the wise men. Matthew tells us

“About that time some wise men from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose, and we have come to worship Him. King Herod was deeply disturbed when he heard this, as was everyone in Jerusalem. He called a meeting of the leading priests and teachers of religious law and asked, “Where is the Messiah supposed to be born?” “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they said, “for this is what the prophet wrote: ‘And you, O Bethlehem in the land of Judah, are not least among the ruling cities of Judah, for a ruler will come from you who will be the shepherd for my people Israel.’” After this interview the wise men went their way. And the star they had seen in the east guided them to Bethlehem. It went ahead of them and stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were filled with joy! They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasure chests and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

The Wise Men traveled many miles to worship the King of the Jews. They did not hop a plane and arrive at Bethlehem in a few hours. They did not pack their SUV with food and drink and drive a few days across the interstate. Their journey required many days riding through the desert on the back of camels, stopping to sleep at night in their tents. It was not an easy journey, but they came eagerly seeking to worship the King.

What is the real purpose of Christmas?

Now we come to the real purpose of Christmas. The story of Christmas is only the beginning – unless it leads us to the cross and the empty tomb, it has lost its real purpose.

“Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father.

First Christmas – and our Christmas now!

That first Christmas required Mary and Joseph to totally trust God and accept His plans for their lives. To believe the words of the angel, Gabriel, and accept God’s will for their lives. This Christmas, are you trusting God, are you willing to accept His plans for your life?
That first Christmas the shepherds received the good news of the child’s birth with great joy and hurried to find the child. Today is our excitement at Christmas more focused on the presents, the decorations, the meals, the parties? Are we still excited about the good news that “unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace?
That first Christmas the leading priests and teachers knew the prophecy….knew God’s Word. Yet, they made no effort to go to Bethlehem to check out this story of the Messiah. The Wise Men traveled a great distance – but the religious leaders could not be bothered to travel the six miles from Jerusalem to Bethlehem. As we enjoy this Christmas season with all our decorations, food and gatherings with family and friends, let us be sure that we take time to really seek the Messiah. Let’s ask God to return us to the simple but awesome truth of that first Christmas in a dark, possibly cold, stable where two young people faced the awesome challenge of raising the Son of God without money, fame or lots of support simply trusting and obeying the Father.

I posted this list last year – but would like to share again – as you are shopping don’t forget those who are less fortunate than you!

For everyone concerned about “keeping Christ in Christmas” instead of worrying rather some pagan says “Merry Christmas” let’s really “keep Christ in Christmas” by what we do rather than what we say.

Ten Terrific Gifts for Christmas

For just $35 you can help bring a safe playground to a Compassion child development center.
For just $40 you can help provide textbooks and learning materials that children can access at their child development center.
For just $18 you can help a child prevent malaria with an insecticide-treated bed net, plus training for his or her family to avoid the mosquito bites that cause this disease.
For just $79 you can help provide a safe water filtration system so that a family in poverty can have clean water.
For just $100 you can provide a bicycle for a child in need, to ensure that he/she has a safe, efficient way to attend school.
For just $30 you can ensure that a child receives immediate, physical spiritual, emotional support at a Compassion center while they wait to be sponsored.
For just $42 you can provide chickens so that parents can become self-sufficient which leads to healthier children.
For just $14 you can provide a mother and child with food and nutritional supplements, for one month helping ensure adequate weight and better health. You can provide that care for an entire year for just $168.
For $13 you can help a malnourished child with food and medicine in an area plagued by food shortage.
For just $30 you can help fill the gap of critical, unexpected situations for children and their families registered with Compassion, including emergency medical care, support following disasters and protection from abuse.

Compassion.com/gifts

Christmas! What a magical time!

We decorate our homes with trees, candles, wreaths. We put out a nativity set and hang up an angel or two. We plan gatherings with family and friends where there will be presents and lots of delicious food to eat. Everything is so neat and tidy – so beautiful. It’s truly a joyous time as we celebrate our Savior’s birth.

Our Christmas cards show scenes of Mary and Joseph and Baby Jesus and they look so beautiful and so peaceful. Even our Christmas carols speak of a little baby who makes no crying and of a night where all is calm.

But how far from that first Christmas have we come? Was it really beautiful, calm and peaceful to Mary and Joseph and those who played a role in that first Christmas?

What about Mary?

Because we know how the story ends, we think “What an honor to be chosen to bear the Son of God. What great news this was.”

And how would she face Joseph? He would know he was not the father. What would he say? Certainly he would have questions. Would he still marry her? Would he bring her before the community to be stoned?

What about the child? Would gossip follow him as he played and grew in the village?

Mary’s dream of marriage to Joseph and a wonderful life suddenly looked as if it would be shattered.

Do I trust God?

Mary had to decide.

Her decision was a matter of trust. She responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.”

The trip to Bethlehem

How appropriate that the One who would say “I am Bread of Life” would be born in a city whose meaning is “house of bread.” And in Micah, 5 the prophet foretold that the Messiah would come from this small and insignificant town of Bethlehem.

But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah, are only a small village among all the people of Judah. Yet a ruler of Israel, whose origins are in the distant past, will come from you on my behalf.

What a place to give birth!

I can’t imagine giving birth in a cold stable with possibly no help in delivery except my husband who is a carpenter and maybe some strangers who offered help. To lay my new-born baby in a feeding trough for animals.

Baby Jesus did not cry?????

I find it hard to believe that baby Jesus just laid there quiet and calm. After all, the Bible tells us that He came to “be like us,” to understand our weakness and frailty.

As He began His ministry, He experienced temptation just like us.
We see Him falling asleep after an exhaustive day ministering to the multitudes.
In the Garden of Gethsemane He cried out for deliverance from the cross.
He felt the agony of feeling forsaken by the Father on the cross.

One of the main points the writer of the book of Hebrews makes is that Jesus experienced human life as we know it, so why would He as a baby not have felt the cold, the hunger? Why would He not have cried as all new-born babies do?

Enter the shepherds! Wake up Mary!

Imagine Mary, worn out from giving birth, quieting her baby and watching Joseph tenderly lay him in the manger. Perhaps she thought about the visit from Gabriel and his words about this son she just gave birth to. Perhaps she wondered why, if this boy was the savior of the world, they were sleeping in a stable and he was laying in the place where animals took their meals.

Finally, she leans back on the hay to try to get a little sleep when suddenly the stable is invaded by a group of shepherds straight from the hills where they had been tending their sheep. Possibly they did not smell all that pleasant. They no doubt were very excited and loudly proclaiming what they had seen and heard. As they shared the stories of the angels, no doubt Mary remembered her visit from Gabriel. What reassurance to know that others now had heard the wonderful message that this child was sent from God. She and Joseph were not alone in knowing the wondrous news of this birth.

The visit to the temple

Soon it was time to take the little baby to the temple and present the sacrifices required after giving birth. We can see from the gifts they brought of two turtledoves or two young pigeons that Mary and Joseph were among the poor of the land. Leviticus 12 tells us requirements for this offering.

“These, then are the procedures after childbirth. But if she is too poor to bring a lamb, then she must bring two turtledoves or two young pigoens.

Standing in the temple still reflecting on all the events of the past few days, Mary was again reminded of the importance of her son when a man named Simeon took the child in his arms and praised God, saying

Lord, now I can die content! For I have seen him as you promised me I would. I have seen the Savior you have given o the world.

But Simeon’s next words must have given Mary pause as he told her

A sword shall pierce your soul, for this child shall be rejcted by many in Israel, and this to their undoing. But he will be the greatest joy of many others. And the deepest thoughts of many hearts shall be revealed.

Mary’s first Christmas

How different Mary’s experience of Christmas is from ours. But as we celebrate the birth of our Savior, may we go beyond the bright lights, the food, the music – may we, like Mary, experience the wonder of this miracuous birth. May we trust this Savior and like Mary, may we say

I am the Lord’s servant. May everything You say about me come true!

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me!

Growing up, I heard that phrase several times when I was upset about something unkind that someone had said to me. Sadly that is not true. Words have such power – power to build up, power to tear down.

Thoughts from the Bible

Recently in my Bible study I was impressed with how many times God’s Word speaks to us about the power of words and warns us of being careful how we speak.

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Proverbs 25;11

Do not be rash with your mouth, and let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven, and you on earth; therefore let your words be few. Ecclesiastes 5:2

Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart. Proverbs 18:8

Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time. Proverbs 15:23

Thoughts from the famous and not-so-famous

After reading the thoughts I found in the Bible on using our words, I began searching for what others have said about the power of words.

I found some very wise advice from famous and not-so-famous people.

If you wouldn’t write it and sign it, don’t say it.
Earl Wilson

A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard words bruise the heart of a child. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Advice I wish I had followed

Looking back over my life, I realize that I have spoken many times when I should have remained silent, have given my opinion when no one really needed or wanted it and sadly, have hurt those I love. Oh, that I had followed this advice:

Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. James 1:19

Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken. Orson Rega Card

We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out. Winston Churchill

A time to speak

But there are times we need to speak and unfortunately, we remain silent.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. Martin Luther King, Jr.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. Edmund Burke

This verse from the Bible really makes me think about my words

Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words you shall be justified and by your words you shall be condemned. Matthew 12:36-37

This is now my prayer”

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

This was a question asked at a recent Bible study I attended. Sitting at a table with eight other women, we went around our table, each woman sharing how prayer did or did not play a role in her family as a child.

As I shared my story of the very important part prayer played, I realized how blessed I was. Prayer was a very significant part of my home life. We prayed before each meal. Those prayers were not memorized or short “Thank you for our food” kind of prayers. Each family member took their turn in praying for a meal and the prayers were spontaneous – from the heart prayers. At bedtime we all gathered in our living room, knelt down by the couch or a chair and our Dad would lead us in a prayer. Any time I was not feeling well or had a problem at school, Dad’s solution was prayer. We did go to see a doctor when sick, but prayer always came first.

One memorized prayer

Being the youngest in the family, my first prayer at mealtime was a memorized prayer.

God is good, God is great!

And we thank Him for our food! Amen

At mealtime I would pray my simple prayer first, then another member of my family would say an “adult” prayer. Shortly after I turned five, my Dad decided I no longer needed to pray that childish prayer, but could just take my turn with the rest of the family praying at mealtime. However, he did not explain that to me. We sat down to eat and Dad called on my oldest sister to say the prayer. She prayed and everyone began eating. After a few minutes Mom noticed I was not eating and wanted to know what was wrong. “I didn’t get to pray” was my response. How could I eat my meal without thanking God for it? After Dad explained that I did not have to personally pray for the meal before I could eat and that going forward I could take my turn and pray a “real” prayer rather than the memorized one, I was content.

My Dad was my hero!

As a child, he was my hero! I thought he could walk on water and I wanted to be just like him when I grew up. He not only taught me the importance of prayer, but he gave me a love for God’s Word. My earliest memories are of Dad, after a hard day’s work, sitting at the kitchen table reading the Bible. Along with prayer, reading and studying the Bible was a high priority with him. He taught me how to use a Bible dictionary, a concordance and commentaries.

Then my hero was gone!

When I turned 14 my father made a 180 degree turn in his life. He deserted my mother, my sister and me and turned his back on all he had taught me. Refusing to pay any child support and showing no affection for me, he broke my heart. My hero died. As I entered the world of teenagers and then a young adult, one of my greatest desires was to regain a close relationship with my Dad. But sadly, it never happened. He remained very critical of me and everything I did. Every visit I had with him seemed to end up with me either crying or running out of his house in anger. How I longed for him to say he loved me or to give me a word of praise. But sadly, it never happened.

Then he was REALLY gone!

A few years ago my father died. I had long ago forgiven him for deserting me, had long ago forgiven him for his unkind treatment to me. So when he died, I thought all would be okay. Surprisingly, I found myself filled with the greatest anger I had every known. I felt hatred for him.

I struggled with this and prayed for deliverance from this pain. How could I feel more anger when he was dead than when he was alive? How could I feel hatred for him when I never felt that emotion when he was alive? After many months of soul-searching and prayer, I realized that as long as he was alive, I had hope that we would somehow become close again. That one day I would visit him and hear him say that he loved me or that he was proud of me. But now, that would never happen.

Anger and hatred finally gone!

After months of prayer, I’m grateful that the anger and hatred subsided in my heart. But all that was left was a sense of great loss and sadness that the memories of my father were not pleasant ones.

Thank you Dad!

But then, I attended the Bible study on prayer and listened to myself tell how my father taught me the importance of prayer. What a great gift he gave me! Although my memories of my dad when I was a teenager and later, an adult, were not pleasant ones, and I never received the love and approval from him that I so desired, I do owe him a great debt. He taught me one of the most important lessons a person can know – that God loves me and He hears me when I pray.

So – I have a great inheritance for which I am thankful. It’s my choice to cling to those memories and be grateful!

In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song; this Cornerstone, this solid Ground, firm through the fiercest drought and storm. What heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are stilled, when strivings cease! My Comforter, my All in All,

here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh Fulness of God in helpless babe! This gift of love and righteousness Scorned by the ones he came to save: Till on that cross as Jesus died, The wrath of God was satisfied – For every sin on Him was laid;

Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay Light of the world by darkness slain: Then bursting forth in glorious Day Up from the grave he rose again! And as He stands in victory Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me, For I am His and He is mine –

Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death, This is the power of Christ in me; From life’s first cry to final breath. Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand; Till He returns or calls me home,

Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

Though he was God, He did not think equality with God as something to cling to: Instead, He gave up His divine privileges; He took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When He appeared, in human form, He humbled Himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

Philippians 2:6-8

AWE-FULL

Great and holy God

awe and reverence

fear and trembling

do not come easily to us

for we are not

Old Testament Jews

or Moses

or mystics

or sensitive enough.

Forgive us

for slouching into Your presence

with little expectation

and less awe

than we would eagerly give a visiting dignitary.

We need

neither Jehovah nor a buddy—

neither “the Great and powerful Oz” nor “the man upstairs.”

Help us

to want what we need…

You

God

and may the altar of our hearts

tremble with delight

at Your visitation

amen.

Frederick Ohler

Finally, spring had arrived! After a very long, cold and snowy winter, spring had come at last and warm temperatures were promised for the next week. We were so excited! At last the girls’ daddy could take them fishing in our pond. More important to me, now my husband and I could begin our new home.

In September of the previous year we had purchased some property in the country where we were going to build our home. It had been our dream since we had married over 12 years before that one day we would build a home in the country with a little acreage where we could have a big garden, a few cows and a horse for our daughters.

The property was perfect! Set on a hill it overlooked fields of corn directly in front of us and behind us were thick woods. Just down the hill was a winding creek perfect for wading in the hot summer. We had a pond stocked with fish and for my fisherman husband – that was the icing on the cake.

The only bad thing about the purchase was that until we built our house we would have to live in the mobile home on the property and it was in terrible shape. About to fall down, when the wind blew, the windows offered little protection. But we only had to get through the winter and in spring we could begin building. One year in a junky trailer would be worth achieving our dream.

But what a winter!

When we moved in we had no idea what a cold winter was coming our way. Record temperatures were set that year and it seemed it would never stop snowing. The water pipes froze in the trailer and we had to carry water from the well – in the freezing temperatures! The only heat we had was a wood-burning stove in the living room so we all slept together in a big bed we put in the room. My husband and I kept saying to one another as we snuggled with the girls between us in the bed trying to keep them warm, “Hang in there – spring is coming!”

I began planning my flower garden. After the house was built and we had the trailer moved, we would make a beautiful flower garden where the trailer had set. My husband was talking to local farmers to determine where we could buy a couple of cows and a horse for the girls! All we had to do was tough it out for a few more weeks until spring came.

As spring approached and the temperatures began to climb, the girls began asking their daddy, “Can we go fishing now?” He promised them that he would take them fishing on Saturday.

Then Thursday came!

Thursday morning my husband drove me to work. He had worked the midnight shift. Although he was tired, he was going to make some repairs on the car before going to bed. He had a rough night at work and was a little cranky. On the ride into town, I tried to tease him and get him in a better mood. By the time we arrived at my office, he was smiling at me once again. I looked at him and said, “You would miss me if something happened to me – like you would miss a migraine!” We laughed and I kissed him not knowing that was the last time I would ever be able to do that.

I had planned to give my husband a call at lunchtime to see how the car repairs were going, but the day was so busy, I kept working through lunch. After school I received a call from my oldest daughter. No surprise there – my girls always called me when they got home from school to let me know they were okay and tell me about their day. Their father was always home when they arrived, but I still liked to hear from them after school. I answered the phone expecting the usual “Hi Mommy!” But I was not prepared for what I heard. My oldest daughter, 11, said words I will never forget. “Mommy, I think Daddy is dead!” Both my daughters – ages 6 and 11 – had come home to find their father dead in the driveway. The car he had been working on had fallen on him and crushed him.

There must be some mistake!

At first I could not believe it! I thought he is only injured – not dead. I panicked, but my daughter showed more calmness than I did. She called the ambulance and the neighbor. Believing that he must only be injured and that they would take him directly to the hospital, I called a friend who drove me to the hospital. We waited and waited. Finally, sensing something was not right, my friend spoke to the nurses in the emergency room. They told her he would not be coming to the hospital – he had been pronounced dead at the scene.

We jumped in the car and hurried to my country home. How could I have been such an idiot? Why did I not go directly to my daughters? How horrible it must be for them out there with their father dead and their mother still in town?

Walking in a dream!

The next few days were like a dream – or a nightmare! I found it hard to go to sleep, and when I finally fell asleep, I would wake up realizing something was wrong – but what was it? Then, it would hit me again – my husband is dead!

I must be strong!

My main thought was that I had to be strong for my daughters. My own parents had divorced when I was young. My father had deserted me and my mother just fell apart emotionally. Not only was I left to basically deal with my sorrow on my own, but I felt responsible to help my mother deal with her anger and grief. I was determined I would not repeat that mistake – I would not put my burden of sorrow and pain on my daughters. Looking back, I realize I may have made a mistake in trying to be so strong for them. As little girls, they saw this strong woman (not knowing the heartbreak I hid from them) and I think they grew up with an image of a strong woman who no one could really live up to.

My life was changed!

Suddenly, without any warning, my life was changed. The plans we had made, the hope we had for spring was gone. There would be no new house, no flower garden, no horse in the pasture. I just could not do all that on my own.

As family and friends came for the funeral and to try to comfort us, I could see that they did not see the dream my husband and I had shared. All they saw was the dumpy mobile home and they thought “Poor Barbara. Look where she was living.” How I longed to tell them about the blueprints we had for our new house – about the garden catalogs where the pages were marked just waiting for us to order the bulbs in a few weeks. I wanted to point out where the vegetable garden would go and the new driveway we would have when the trailer was removed.

But my grief was too much – so I just accepted their words of comfort and tried to ignore those who gave me looks of condescension. Although that dream would not come true, it would always remain in my heart – it would always be something I had shared with my husband.

In the midst of sorrow, God was there

God was so present to me in my time of shock and grief. When I first heard those horrible words from my daughter that my husband was dead, I immediately thought, “What will I do to raise two girls all alone.” Even before the question was completed in my mind, I remembered those words of Jesus, “Lo, I am with you always.”

And He was. Every step of the way. During visitation the young couple that we were buying our property from on contact for deed, asked to speak to me privately. I assumed they were concerned if I was going to continue to make payments on the land and I quickly assured I would. They told me that was not why they wanted to speak to me. They did not understand the sense of peace it seemed everyone had. They said, “We have never attended a visitation or funeral where we sensed such peace. Why do you seem so at peace?”

The Prince of Peace

What a joy it was to tell them that I knew the Prince of Peace – that my husband had known Him too. And although we sorrowed it was not without hope.

And now, dear brothers, I want you to know what happens to a Christian when he dies so that when it happens, you will not be full of sorrow, as those are who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and then came back to life again, we can also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him all the Christians who have died. I can tell you this directly from the Lord: that we who are still living when the Lord returns will not rise to meet him ahead of those who are in their graves. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a mighty shout and with the soul-stirring cry of the archangel and the great trumpet-call of God. And the believers who are dead will be the first to rise to meet the Lord. Then we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air and remain with him forever. So comfort and encourage each other with this news.

My life – and the lives of my daughters – were forever changed. There will always be sorrow – especially for my daughters – when they miss their daddy not being there at important times in life. But there is hope – we will meet again. And God brings joy even now. In time, when the wounds were not so bad, God brought another man into our lives to be my husband and their “Pop.” He did not replace their daddy – he has never tried to do that. But he has loved them as his own and brought joy once again to our lives.

I can only imagine

There was a song out a few years ago that talked about what we would do when we get to heaven – and of course, we can only imagine. But sometimes when I think of heaven, I can just see my present husband meeting my first husband and I can hear the words he would probably speak.

Thank you for loving and taking care of my three girls when I could not.

My life changed that day – but after 33 years I can say with no doubt – My God is faithful!