Friendship

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” Jesus in John 15:12-15

Today I said goodbye to a dear friend. Strange that I would call her a dear friend as I only knew her a few months.

Carolyn became a friend when my pastor asked me if I would go with her to visit an elderly woman. Carolyn was in the final stages of a lung disease which was slowly taking her life. She had been battling the disease for a few years but now it had become advanced to the point that she was on oxygen 24/7. She was confined to her house and even to her recliner as the smallest task was too great for her.

After meeting Carolyn my pastor, Carolyn and I agreed that I would visit her on Fridays and take communion to her. Friday mornings found me at Carolyn’s house where I would have a cup of coffee with her, share a small devotion from God’s Word and we would take communion together.

My visits quickly became a highlight of my week. Carolyn was so alert, so intelligent and so interested in the world around her. We would share stories of our life. However, I think I shared more of my life as she would ask question after question. She was particularly interested in all the places I had lived. Since she had lived all her life in mid-Michigan, she seemed fascinated by my experiences in never staying in one place too long.

She loved QVC and more than once I carried in boxes from her front porch that Federal Express had left with her purchases from the network. A retired schoolteacher she had stories that made us laugh as she related of the antics of the students she taught.

After a visit with Carolyn, I always left feeling humbled. Here was a woman restricted to a chair or bed 24/7. She could not go to church, go to the store. She could not even walk out in her yard and see all the beautiful flowers planted there. She had to rely on others to fix her breakfast and help her get dressed. Yet she always had a sweet smile on her face and I never heard her once complain.

It was clear her family was of great importance to her and she often shared stories of her grandchildren. I never left without hearing her speak of how wonderful her son, her daughter and her son-in-law were; how much she appreciated the care they gave her.

At the last visit I had with Carolyn I realized she would not be with us much longer. She looked so tired. Hospice was now coming every week. Still, with little energy and no doubt the understanding that her life was slowly ending, she had a smile on her face. Her son was there and she wanted me to tell him about all the places I had lived. Still focused on others rather than herself.

Last Friday I was getting ready to visit her when her daughter texted me not to come. Her Mom had been in bed the last four days, and it was clear she was not going to live much longer. On Saturday I got the call that she was gone.

Today at the funeral as I could not hold back the tears, I again asked myself how I could grieve so much over someone I barely knew.

But that was the kind of person Carolyn was. She made me feel important, interesting and a person of worth. She made our visits interesting as she was curious about everything.

Tomorrow, I will miss getting in my car and driving to Carolyn’s house. I will miss our sharing of our lives. But I have hope.

Someday I will see Carolyn again. And we can continue the friendship we started here.

The Sailing Ship by Bishop Charles Henry Brent

Thanksgiving is over. The kitchen is clean again. The kids are gone. My house is quiet once again. As I listen to Christmas music and just relax with my feet up, thoughts of Thanksgivings past flood my mind. I remembered this post from 2017 about friends. Thought I would share it again.

In this article from 2017 I shared that the house where I was living was the longest I had ever lived in one house – 16 years.

Well guess what? After one more year – 17 years – I moved again. This time it was a big move. Not across town. Not down the road to the next town. Not across the state. No – I moved 383 miles to another state.

Once again I was the new kid on the block. But even at 70 it is never too late to make new friends. While I have envied those who have the long record of one home, one town, one set of friends, I have to admit I may have an advantage this moving around has given me.

Life is never boring as there is always new people to meet, new places to explore. My circles of friends expands. Perhaps I am more open to people who look or act different than me. It can be hard to see others objectively while living in a comfort zone of where everything, everyone is the same. Perhaps it has opened me to be more adventurous and not afraid of change.

After 5 years in my new home in Michigan, I am a happy camper. Michigan is a beautiful state and we have enjoyed exploring it. And we enjoy our small town.

Main Street is so beautiful at Christmas. We have a great high school marching band. Halloween is great when families come downtown to enjoy all the goodies the businesses offer. Even Elvis is only one of the great music acts we enjoy every summer.

And, yes, my list of friends has grown. When I get to heaven, I will no longer be the new kid on the block because I will know so many already. I truly have an abundance of friends.

Six years ago a dear friend died just before Christmas.

 My husband and I had watched him battle cancer (two different kinds) for over two years.  It was hard to see him slowly lose the battle.  He fought hard and he never lost his courage or his great sense of humor.

His family asked my husband to do the funeral service.  It was an extremely hard thing for Paul to do.  They had been friends for almost 20 years.  In the very beginning of their friendship, I had surgery for breast cancer.  The cancer was very advanced and my husband was  frightened as his mother had died from breast cancer.  Richard came to the hospital and sat with my husband through my surgery and did not leave until I was out of recovery.  That cemented their friendship.

That – and their love of golf and corny jokes.  Although they claimed they played golf, I think from listening to their tales that they spend more time laughing at each other’s skills than they did actually playing the game.

After my retirement, I often joined the two of them for breakfast.  It was such fun to just sit and listen to them as they teased one another and shared stories of their time on the golf course.

While it was hard for my husband to do the funeral service, he was honored that the family said that was what Richard would want.  As we arrived at the funeral home, his daughters handed us an envelope.  On the outside it said, “Paul and his bride.”  That was how Richard always referred to me – “Paul’s bride.”  When Paul and Richard met, if I was not present, he would always ask, “How is your bride?”  The handwriting on the outside was clearly not Richard’s.  So we assumed it was just a card saying thank you for doing the service.

When we opened the card it was a Christmas card.  Thinking it was a little strange that his daughters were giving us a Christmas card, we opened it up.  My heart skipped a beat as I saw the signature inside the card.  It said simply, “Richard.”  We immediately recognized his signature.  Also enclosed was a picture of him.

His daughters told us although Richard never sent Christmas cards, just before his death he asked them to get him some Christmas cards.  He then signed a few and asked them to give them to his special friends at his funeral.  He knew he would not be here for Christmas and he wanted us to know what our friendship had meant to him.

This is a special card my husband and I will treasure forever.

Merry Christmas Richard!

When I was 54 years old I was diagnosed with a very aggressive and advanced stage of breast cancer. My doctor said I had only a small chance of still being alive in ten years.

Ten years – that would put me into retirement age. At that time I planned to retire at age 62. So I figured if I could last ten years and retire at 62 that would give me two years to enjoy retirement with my husband.

For years I had worked a secular job which kept me busy with work Monday through Friday. My job was a very demanding job and often required overtime. When the weekend came I was really not free to enjoy time with my husband because he was a pastor. That meant that much of his weekend was involved with the church.

So I thought if I could just make it to those ten years, that would give me two years of retirement to enjoy more time with my husband.

That is what I asked for – “Lord, let me live to retire and give me two years to enjoy some quality and quantity time with my husband.”

As the time grew near for my 62nd birthday, I was thankful that I had made it eight years – but finances dictated that I needed to work until I was 65.

“Lord, let me live until I am 65 and give me two years of retirement with my husband.”

Well, obviously I made to 65. What is so wonderful is today I celebrate nine years of retirement. Nine years ago today I walked out of MidAmerican Energy Company for the last time. Still praying for those two years of retirement with my husband.

God has given me now nine years of retirement – and I am still going strong looking forward to many more years.

What I have been able to enjoy in those nine years.

Seeing my oldest daughter get her Master’s degree Seeing my youngest daughter become an ordained minister in the Wesleyan Church Being able to just “hang out” with my grandsons Enjoying my “crazy” grandchildren – and seeing two of them happily married Meeting my first great grandson – and looking forward to seeing the second one. Getting to watch this youngest granddaughter grow up.

And all the trips we have been able to make:

All across the south loving the old oak trees and the Spanish moss.

Enjoying the beach and the carriage rides.

And out west to Wyoming and Montana following the Pony Express/Mormon Trail.

Being a history nut I have been able to visit many former presidents’ homes and I loved walking the grounds of Fort Laramie.

Seeing the names carved into the rock at Register Cliff.

But most of all, I am so grateful for all the quality and quantity time I have had with my husband, my bff, these past nine years.

Still my bff after nine years of “real” togetherness!

Thank you Lord for your blessings on me!

I often get gifts from friends or family members because it is my birthday, or Mother’s Day or Christmas. While I always appreciate that someone thought of me, remembered my special day and took time to purchase something for me, the best gift I just received this week was for no special day.

The person sending me the flowers said it was “just because.”

Each of the roses was a different color – and so beautiful!

I could not decide which color I loved the most. But I am definitely feeling the love!

With all the division and disagreements in our culture today, I thought it might be a good time to remind us of all those “one another’s” our Bible speaks about.

Grandma’s Ramblings

I have been planning with some of the women in my church for a game night.  Just a time for us to get together and have fun with one another getting to know each other better.

• Not a time of Bible study
• Not a time to do a service project
• Not a time to fix a meal for the church
• Not a time to “do” anything

Just a time to relax and enjoy each other’s company.

So many times when we go to church (or to any other type of meeting) we sit in our same spot, talk to those who sit near us or who are in our small circle of friends and only give a nod and “hi” or “how are you” to the rest.  We know each other’s names, but do we really know each other?  I must confess that after attending my church for almost three…

View original post 874 more words

At this time of year I say “Merry Christmas” to all my family and friends who are close by.  For those far away I call, text and send gifts and cards to wish them the best.

But as I have become a follower of many on WordPress and have enjoyed having some follow me, I feel I have gained friends I don’t even know personally.  Reading the posts of many of you has enriched my life – encouraging me, challenging me and sometimes just giving me a much needed laugh.

I have also enjoyed the comments of many of you who follow my blog.

So – to all of you out there in WordPress land, it is my prayer that you have a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, or a great Kwanzaa!

I have been hugged by many people for many different reasons but today’s hug was a first!

This coming Sunday I will be playing for the worship service at a local church whose organist is out of town for a wedding.  Since this church has a much more formal format of worship than my own church, I went by the office to get a copy of their bulletin for Sunday to be more familiar with the order of service.

As I introduced myself to the church secretary and began to tell her I would be providing music for Sunday’ service, she quickly interrupted me and asked if she could give me a hug.

Now I like hugs.  But usually I like hugs from close friends and family only.  I’m not into hugging people I have just met.

Still, how could I refuse?

As I hugged her I could not help but wonder why she clearly wanted to hug me.

• Was she grateful that I was going to miss my own church on Sunday to provide music for her church?
• Was she some kind of nut that hugged strangers?
• Was my smile so dazzling that it invoked such feelings of friendship?

When the hug was over, she explained why she felt such a connection with me.

No – it was not anything about me.

• It was not my wonderful generosity to help the church out.
• It was not my beautiful smile.
• It was not my friendly personality.

She had met my husband earlier this year when he came by to introduce himself to her pastor.  Being a retired pastor, my husband visited many of the churches when we moved to this small town.  He loves the fellowship of other ministers and he just loved seeing the beautiful old churches in our new town.

She shared how much my husband’s visits meant to her and her pastor.

Her comments about the joy and encouragement his visits brought reminded me once again that no matter how old we grow, we can still contribute to others.  My husband just turned 79.  He can no longer pastor, no longer preach sermons in church, but he can still minister and bless the lives of others.

So I thank God for that hug!  And for the reminder that as long as I have breath, I can and will be used of God to help others.

My husband will not leave our children a great fortune when he dies.  But I am thankful for the legacy he will leave them.

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” —Shannon L. Alder

It’s Valentine’s Day.  A day we are supposed to celebrate our love.  I imagine it can be a painful day for those who do not have a “special” someone to celebrate with.  After my first husband died, I dreaded that day.

But although I have been single, then widowed and spent Valentine’s Day without a boyfriend or husband, I have always had a great love to celebrate.

I met Him when I was six years old.

My earliest memories were hearing my parents talk about Him.  Finally, at six I realized I wanted Him to be my special love.

So I asked Jesus to come into my heart/my life and I would love Him too.

I asked – He said yes.

Being baptized after making a public commitment to follow Jesus

We have been sharing our love ever since then.

I could share so many stories of how my love has been there for me over these 65 years since I accepted His offer of friendship and love, but one of my blogs from 2014 tells it the best.

Hope you will take time to read it and see why I celebrate this love, not only on Valentine’s day but every day of the year.

Coincidence or An Act of God?