Hope | Grandma's Ramblings

Reading a friend’s blog today got my mind thinking about how fast this year has gone by. How fast my life is going by.

As I thought about the years already past (76) and wondered how many years lie ahead of me, I thought of the story in the Bible of Enoch.

In the genealogy of Adam, we are told:

Enoch lived 365 years, walking in close fellowship with God. Then one day he disappeared, because God took him.

He lived to be 365 years old, but Enoch had such a close and intimate relationship with God that one day he just vanished—God took him.

The writer of the book of Hebrews explains what it meant that “God took him.”

It was by faith that Enoch was taken up to heaven without dying—“he disappeared, because God took him.” For before he was taken up, he was known as a person who pleased God.

In my head I have this story.

Every day God and Enoch would take a walk. First, as a child Enoch no doubt had a lot of questions for God.

As their friendship grew, their walks got longer and longer. The childish questions became more difficult as Enoch became older, but God had no problem answering them. He was patient and loving. Every day Enoch would rise from his bed excited about another walk with God. He wondered what he would learn today.

Finally, after many years of shared moments with God they came to the end of their walk. God said, “Enoch, we are closer to my house than yours. Why don’t you just come on to my house with me?”

And Enoch happily said “YES!”

For those of you who have been following my blog for a while, you have heard this story before. Feel free to move on.

But every time this year it is not only Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but it is also the month I was diagnosed with a very advanced and very aggressive breast cancer. It turned out my cancer was a rare one and I was told “the odds are not in your favor.”

So – this month I will celebrate 22 years as a cancer survivor. Telling my story – and thanking God for His mercy to me – will never get old.

Day 1 – Cancer! A simple word describing a disease that other people get. Just a word. Until suddenly I hear the word as I get the results of my biopsy. Abruptly my whole world changes forever. Nothing will ever be the same again.

It all started when I found a lump in my left breast. Although I called and set up an appointment with my doctor, I told myself there was nothing to be concerned about. This would just be a benign tumor. Cancer would never happen to me! After examining me, my doctor assured me it was probably nothing. Cancer in the beginning stages, she told me, seldom hurts and boy did I hurt! It was probably a cyst. If so, they would insert a needle to remove the fluid and all would be fine. Nothing to worry about.

Then why did she tell me not to leave until she had an ultrasound scheduled? Still, there is nothing to fear! Cancer happens to other people, not to me. I’ll grow old and die some day of a heart attack.

Day 2 – After the ultrasound the radiologist wants to speak to my husband and me. He tells us he is trying to get in touch with my doctor to recommend I have a biopsy as soon as possible. He tries to comfort us by saying that cancer is seldom painful in the beginning stages. I’m in so much pain, it’s probably just a benign tumor. If pain means no cancer, bring on the pain!

Day 9 – The needle biopsy is completed. It was supposed to be painless, but I have to have three shots before they can complete the biopsy. Lord, let it be good news.

Day 12 – It’s not good news. I have cancer. How can that be? Not me! I call my husband on his cell phone. He is coming to take me to lunch and when he answers the telephone, he starts chattering away, making nonsensical comments. I cut him off, “Honey, listen to me.” Now what do I say? How do I say that dreadful word? There’s no way to avoid it, no way to make it sound all okay. So I just say it. “I have cancer.” His response is engraved in my memory. “I’ll be right there.”

Now I have to tell the kids. How do I tell my children their mother has – there’s that word again – cancer? The kids come hurrying over with their families. I can tell they struggle with the news. My two daughters who have never been at a loss for words when talking with me are now strangely silent. They seem to avoid even looking at me. How I long to take away their pain, but I am totally helpless. This is not like when they fell as little girls and scratched a knee. I can’t wash away the pain, can’t put a bandage and a kiss on it and make everything fine again. Cancer was never something we thought we would have to deal with. That happened in other families, not ours.

Day 13 – Finally, almost 24 hours after I get the news I have cancer, the kids go home and my husband runs an errand. I am alone at last to absorb the news. I take a bubble bath and as I relax in the warm water, the tears finally come. I cry and beg God over and over, “Please let me live! Please let me live!” Over and over comes this desperate plea.

A song that has always encouraged me – especially in difficult times.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.”

1 Peter 1:3

Saturday had to have been a long, long day.

The disciples were hiding in fear for their lives. They, along with the many women who had stood at the cross and watched Jesus die, were filled with grief. No doubt confusion filled their hearts.

This was not supposed to be how it ended. Jesus was supposed to set up His kingdom. The disciples would be leaders in this new world.

What went wrong? All hope was gone.

We all have probably had moments in our lives where we also felt like this. A loved one died way too young. The promotion on our job that looked so sure suddenly went to another. After several weeks of feeling bad, we got the “C’ word from our doctor.

This was not supposed to be happen to us. All hope was gone.

Jesus had told them plainly that He would be killed. He also told them plainly that He would rise again on the third day.

Yet when He died, they were in shock, so surprised. They clearly did not understand or believe that He would rise again. There had been instances where a prophet had raised someone to life after death. They had seen Jesus raise at least three people from death. Just a short time before Lazarus had come out of the tomb at the command of Jesus.

But it was one thing for a living person to be able to bring life to the dead. How could a dead man bring himself back to life?

Just as they failed to really understand the words of Jesus…Just as they failed to look beyond what their eyes could see…Just as they were looking for a conquering king, not a suffering servant, we too in the Saturdays of our life often forget the words of Jesus.

He told us, “ “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

He also said, “If anyone wants to come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me.”

Following Jesus is not a guarantee of no suffering, no disappointments, no pain. But as the disciples discovered on Sunday, following Jesus always bring ultimate victory. On Sunday, the disciples discovered a hope that is greater than any despair. A hope greater than any sorrow.

They went on to write:

“Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”  1 Peter 5:8-10

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans:38-39

We have an advantage the disciples did not have. They knew only the anguish of Friday. We know the victory of Sunday.

Anyone who has gone to Sunday School in years past has heard the story of Joseph found in the book of Genesis.

Joseph was his father’s favorite of twelve sons. His father, Jacob, who became known as Israel, made Joseph a special coat. Besides being his father’s favorite, the brothers’ jealousy grew stronger as Joseph shared his dreams which indicated his brothers and even his parents would one day bow down before him. When the brothers saw a caravan of Ishmaelites on their way to Egypt to sell their products, they sold Joseph to them as a slave.

Sold in Egypt to Potiphar, the captain of Pharaoh’s guard, things looked pretty grim to Joseph. However, as time passed, Joseph rose to be head of Potiphar’s household. While life as a slave in a foreign country was not what he had wanted, still life was probably pretty good. Then disaster struck. Potiphar’s wife falsely accused Joseph of raping her. Joseph was thrown into prison.

Prison in those times was probably not a very pleasant place to be. Still, even there Joseph gained favor with the prison guards and life was, while not what he longed for, at least it was better than that of the other prisoners.

Of course, the story has a great ending as Joseph eventually is released from prison and made second in command to Pharoah. He is reunited with his family and forgives them. All ends well.

Throughout the narrative in Genesis several times the Bible says, “but the Lord was with Joseph.” Looking back from the happy ending even Joseph says to his brothers, “You meant it for bad, (selling him as a slave) but God meant it for good.” Clearly at this point Joseph recognizes God’s hand in all his difficulties leading to the ultimate victory both for Joseph and for his family.

Our Sunday School lessons always point out the great faith and character of Joseph. But I have to wonder…..did Joseph always feel like God was with Him? Imagine the pain of his brothers’ betrayal. The fear of what awaited him as a slave in Egypt. Think of the years separated from his father and younger brother, Benjamin. The sorrow at the thought that he would never see them again. Wondering how Benjamin was growing. Wondering if his father was still alive.

Then the injustice at being in prison when he did nothing wrong. In fact, quite the opposite, he resisted the woman’s advances not once, but the Bible indicates many times. 

As he remembered the dreams of his youth, did he cry out to God? Did he question why he had dreamed such things? How could there possibly be any real truth or hope in those dreams.

Yet it appears that Joseph never lost faith in God. When the two servants of Pharoah who were in prison with Joseph had dreams that troubled them, Joseph told them to share their dreams with him. He asked them, ““Do not interpretations belong to God?” He implied if they would tell them their dreams, God would give him the interpretation. He could not have been sure of that if he had not maintained his faith and relationship with God.

Joseph’s story has many lessons for us to learn when we face difficult times in our life. 

God is with us, even when circumstances may seem to indicate He is not. Our faith must be based not on what we see, but on the God who promised “Lo I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)

Despite hard times, we must remain continue to live a life of Christian principles, not giving in to the temptations around us. Remember, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12)

The story of Joseph shows us the sovereignty of God. Because Joseph came to be placed in a position of power in Egypt, the descendants of Jacob came to a place where they could be safe, but separate, and become the nation God has promised to Abraham. The nation through which one would come who would redeem the whole world. ”Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose.” (Isaiah 46:9-10)

Finally, we see in Jospeh the power of forgiveness. Forgiving his brothers and providing for them and their families, Joseph was an instrument used of God to fulfill His promises to Abraham to make of him a great nation. 

Perhaps one of the best verses in the Bible that tells us how to deal with difficult times is Philippians 4:6-7. It is one of my favorites. ”Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I love the old Christmas carols that I grew up singing and listening to on the radio and at church. But a couple of trees ago a new carol was written. To me, it is one of the best conveyors of the Christmas story.

Hope Has a Name.

Hope you enjoy it!

This time of the year I find myself remembering events from years ago that generate both sweet and bitter memories with all the accompanying emotions.

March has been a month that has brought both good and bad events into my life – events that changed me forever.

The first one that brings sweet memories occurred 52 years ago on March 29. That day I walked down the aisle at church and promised to “love and cherish until death do us part.”

For almost 13 years I kept that promise. Every year as that date approaches I remember those years with my first husband. We were happy and shared a lot of joy but the best part of those years was the birth of our two beautiful daughters. Memories of those times make me smile and I am grateful for every moment we shared. Those events changed me – made me a wife, a mother.

The second memory is more painful. It was 39 years ago in March that I got a call at work that I will never forget. My eleven-year-old daughter called me and said, “Momma, I think Daddy is dead.” Those words changed our lives forever. My first husband had been working on our car when an accident occurred that took his life. Ironically it was just four days before we would have celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary. So March brings also feelings of great sadness as I remember the shock and horror of that day. The pain my daughters still feel today. The older one grieves as she remembers all the times she had with her daddy, while the younger grieves because she was so young her memories are few. That changed me – made me a young widow with two little girls to raise.

So – every year in March I deal with these memories and these conflicting emotions.

That would be enough to make the last of March an emotional time for me.

But last year added another event that adds to my emotions this time of year.

On March 19 last year my second husband fell and hit his head on the concrete floor of his art studio in the basement of our condo.

By the 22nd he was in pain and we went to the emergency room of our local hospital. From there he was rushed by ambulance to the main hospital in Lansing – the capital of our state – where they did emergency surgery. He had a major brain bleed and they said without the surgery he would not survive the night.

As I remember the next couple of weeks I still can feel the knot in my stomach as I waited at home (because of the virus I could not be with him) wondering if the next call would be to tell me I was a widow again. I wondered how I could take it if he died on the same day as my first husband had died. As the next few days were “touch and go” while they tried to get him off the ventilator, I kept telling God “please, not again, not this time.”

I am so grateful to God that he not only survived the surgery but after a few weeks he was back to his normal self. The doctor said he might have trouble walking, swallowing, communicating. While he had some of these symptoms for a couple of weeks, he was soon completely okay with no lingering symptoms.

One major concern of mine was would he be able to paint again. Would he even be able to walk down the stairs to his art studio. That prayer was again quickly answered. Our son-in-love brought his painting equipment upstairs and within two weeks he painted a beautiful lighthouse scene. Soon he was able to return to his studio downstairs and continue painting.

So along with the knot in my stomach, I also must rejoice with a great emotion of gratitude that I am not a widow for the second time, that my husband is not only alive, but well and strong again.

One of his first paintings also was of a beautiful rainbow which symbolizes hope and a reminder that God keeps His promises. He called it “Hope in the Storm.” It now hangs in my kitchen as a reminder to me that no matter what troubles come, with God there is always hope.

When my first husband died, when my second husband survived, regardless God has been there – and He brings me hope. Hope for whatever next March or any time may bring. Good times or bad – He is faithful.

A parable Jesus told about the importance of prayer has often made me wonder.

He tells of a widow who went to the local judge to ask him to intervene in her behalf. Apparently there was someone who was treating her unfairly and she wanted help in resolving this dispute. According to the Mosaic Law judges were never to show partiality.

And I charged your judges at that time, ‘Hear the cases between your brothers, and judge righteously between a man and his brother or the alien who is with him. You shall not be partial in judgment. You shall hear the small and the great alike. You shall not be intimidated by anyone, for the judgment is God’s.

Jesus tells us that this judge just ignores her. Whether he did it because he was trying to protect a friend, to gain favor with someone, or was just indifferent without any compassion we do not know. Clearly he was an incompetent judge and should not have been allowed to remain in that position.

The woman is persistent and will not stop coming to the judge and asking for help. Finally, Jesus tells us, that the judge hears her case simply because she was driving him crazy. “She is wearing me out with her constant requests.”

Jesus then ends the parable by telling us that if this unjust judge would do what was right in the face of someone who would not give up, how much more would God answer His children’s cries for help.

In the past as I read this parable I wondered why God would compare Himself to an unjust judge and thereby imply we needed to keep asking Him for our needs. Did that mean if I keep asking for something – even though it might not be the right thing or me or in line with God’s Word – God will give it to me? That is actually a frightening thought to me. I can think of some prayers I have asked that later I was so glad God did not give me what I asked for.

As I study the Bible more I am learning to take Scripture in the total context. So I noticed that Jesus ended this with a question.

When the Son of Man returns, how many will he find on earth who have faith?

Some Bible scholars have said Jesus was simply pointing out the need for His followers to trust Him regardless of whether it seemed their prayers were being answered. I get that. When I pray I need to trust that God is faithful and leave the “when” “where” and “how” to Him.

But as I looked at that today thinking of my own prayer life, I saw something else. Persistent prayer and my faith in God are fundamentally connected. As in any relationship, honest and consistent communication are necessary if that relationship is to grow and remain strong.

When I first met my husband I knew only a few facts about him. Slowly as we dated and shared our fears, hopes, dreams I came to know him. I felt I knew him enough to marry him and pledge my love until death we do part. But today after almost 37 years of communicating I realize how little I really knew him on my wedding day. My knowledge of him today is very deep – I think it is safe to say I know him better than anyone else.

So I think Jesus was telling us that if we want our faith to grow and be strong until the very end of our life, we need to be persistent in our prayer time. In contrast to the unjust judge, Jesus is telling us that God’s character is just the opposite. Of course, He will hear the cries of his children. Trusting in His character and His goodness, we must never give up hope as we pray.

As my husband and I age, we find we are no longer able to be as active as we once were. For years my husband was a pastor and I worked alongside him teaching Bible classes, playing for worship and all the many tasks that come with serving a community of Christians.

This year I celebrated 72 years of life and my husband celebrated 80. While most people that meet us do not think we are as old as that and we do remain alert and active, we find our bodies do not always want to keep up with our thoughts and desires to be productive. Many days the afternoon hours call for us to take a nap.

Still, because we have both experienced true miracles in times of serious medical problems, we desire to still give and help others. (I share these stories in these posts)

I’m Back With a Miracle Man!

Cancer Survivor

Since my husband loves to paint he recently painted a beautiful rainbow scene he called “Hope in the Storm.”

The rainbow to Christians is a reminder of God’s promise to Noah after the flood. To us when we see the rainbow after a storm, we are reminded of the hope we have that God is faithful.

After receiving several compliments on the painting and its message my husband decided to paint smaller versions of this rainbow and send to those we know who are battling a health issue. He has send ones to young people fighting leukemia, to a young woman fighting a heart disease and to several others with different ailments. It has been a joy to hear from them that the painting and the message it gives of “hope in the storm” is an encouragement to them.

It blesses me to see the joy my husband has received as many have told him how much his painting has meant to them.

It is so true that when you give to others, it comes back to you.

Can I say I’m proud of my husband that at 80 he still is thinking of ways to bless others?

If you would like to see more of his paintings, check it out at PWL Art Gallery.

https://www.facebook.com/PaulWLaneArtGallery/